Waiting...Again

Tracy left on Thursday for a two-week class in Wisconsin, followed by his final outprocessing in New Jersey. He should be home some time in mid-September. I feel bad because I don't think I communicated my feelings to him very well while he was here. I am too impatient to get on with life, to get back to normal...I know that he needs time to decompress from his experiences and to transition back into being a husband and father. I need to be more patient...soon this will all be behind us.

Oliver was very happy to see his Daddy too. Silly dog.

Love from Jason

Jason sent Tracy a surprise welcome home present - a beautiful Tacoma guitar! He had no idea it was coming and was totally shocked. It plays beautifully!

Back to School!

I can't help it, I love school. In July, I went all alone to Target and spent my lunch hour (and $75) buying school supplies for the kids. Armed with my supply lists and my very own freshly sharpened pencil, I waited patiently for my turn and handled scissors, erasers, notebooks, pencil boxes...

The first day of school is full of excitement, ripe with possibility. It speaks of the promise of autumn, even in the heat of a Texas August.

Tracy took the girls to school today. Even though Beanie has been looking forward to having Mrs. Little all summer, he said she still clung to his leg when the time came for him to go. Pookie, on the other hand, has talked all weekend about being nervous. Her teacher is new to us, not someone she had a chance to get to know last year, so her trepidation is understandable. Tracy said she cried when he got ready to go, but put on a brave face, squared her little shoulders, and went on.

Here's a picture of our two big girls on their first day of school.
When we picked them up, I asked each girl, in turn, how her day was. Pookie said her day was "wonderful!" Beanie said that "Michael and Mason didn't do their work today. They were looking at me all day!"

First Day of School

I am so excited that Tracy is here for the first day of school! He missed it last year and I was very sad. The girls love their school, and they love sharing it with us. I know it means a lot to them that he is here to meet their teachers and see their classrooms. School is their world at this age, and it is so important for us to be part of it. It's hard to believe they are this big!

Time with Daddy

The kids are really enjoying just hanging out with their Daddy. He does all the fun stuff that I am not so good at - wrestling, tickling, drawing...I love watching them play together!

Safe at Last

It's funny how hard it is to stop worrying about Tracy, even though I know he is safe. Last weekend, as I was driving back to Austin from leaving the kids at Gramma's and Grampa's, he called me. Since he got the news that he would be coming home earlier than expected, our phone conversations have always started the same way: "Where are you?" More than once, his answer was "Qatar"; they were stuck waiting on a flight home there for several days. But this time, the answer was very different. "Baltimore!" he said. Baltimore? Maryland? USA? What?

By the time I got home that night, he was asking me to fly out and meet him in Philly. How could I resist? I was only there for about 18 hours, but seeing him, being able to touch him and know that he was whole, was worth the expense and hassle of a last-minute trip.

After outprocessing at Ft. Dix for a few days, Tracy was able to come to Austin for a short visit. I totally dropped the ball on the welcome wagon for this one. Flights were delayed in Baltimore, which meant Tracy spent hours and hours in Nashville, waiting for a flight. He finally got to Austin about 3 am. I had fallen asleep on the couch and somehow silenced my 2 am alarm...the kids and I made it to the airport though, scooped him up, and brought him home. We all got to sleep about 5, and after resting for a while, celebrated Daddy's safe return with brunch at (where else?) Maudie's!

Welcome home sweetheart!

Meet the Teacher

Tonight we went to Patton for Meet the Teacher night. Gramma is here to go with us again this year. It's always fun, and I think it helps calm the first-day jitters a little bit. Beanie was thrilled to see her name on Mrs. Little's class list! Pookie was not so excited to see hers, listed under Mrs. Forrester. I don't think she knows this teacher, or at least doesn't know her well. But she seems nice and I'm sure they will get along fine. Thanks Gramma for coming with us!

Hopeful

I feel a little bit like the time traveler's wife these days. I know that Tracy's time in Afghanistan is drawing to a close, and I know that he is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about him. It's as though, if I close my eyes and don't move, I can feel his presence so strongly that I almost expect him to appear...I can almost feel his hand against my back...it is overwhelming, sensing him so near to me, but knowing that he is so far away.

There is no doubt that the past year has taken a toll on both of us, though in different ways. I am starting to feel a little out of control, strung a little too tightly. I think it's just the fact that I know it will all be over soon. All the emotion that I haven't been able to express - the fear, the loneliness, the worry - everything that I have had to hold back just to make it through each day - that dam won't hold forever, and the cracks are starting to show.

I just can't wait to have my family back, and the love of my life beside me again; he's been there in my heart all along.

Bats at the Bridge!

This evening, I took the kids to see the bats. It's unusual for me to do something like this by myself, especially after working all day, but I realized that we don't have many free summer nights left, so we just packed up and took off. They really enjoyed it.

First of all, there was a girl in the park playing an accordion and singing Russian gypsy songs...Beanie was immediately fascinated and kept talking about the "pushy piano thing". She was thrilled when I gave her a dollar to toss in the girl's case!

After we walked under the bridge and watched the bats fall away right over our heads, they wanted to go up. So up we went. They were just amazed by the people and it was obvious that being on the bridge made the girls feel all grown up. They sauntered along behind me, playing a game, carrying on an entire conversation as if they'd just me. It was too funny! I, of course, was panicked at the thought that one of them might step off onto Congress Ave. the whole time. Beanie kept gravitating to the street side of the sidewalk. At one point, I explained graphically that "if you don't listen to Momma, you are gonna fall off the bridge onto the street and be smashed by a car. And I will have to stand here and watch you die." After a minute, Bitty said, "But Momma, wouldn't you try to save us?" {choke} I replied that of course I would, at which point I would also be killed, and then a whole conversation ensued about what life would be like for two girls and Daddy without Bitty and me. Pookie said, "I'm not gonna like the new mommy and brother that Daddy gets!"

I was a little awed by the realization that they actually cannot comprehend a life that doesn't include everyone who is currently in our little family...a little awed and very thankful.

Here are some pictures of our batty adventure. The bat pics aren't great, as I forgot to change the settings on the camera before snapping them. Maybe next time!