Saying Goodbye, Again

Tracy left the morning of April 25th. While we were ecstatic about his visit, for me every moment was bittersweet because I knew that it would end with this. He kept warning me that he needed me to stay tough ("You're not gonna get all weepy on me, are you?) so that he could...and I was doing alright for a while.

The airport allows family members to accompany their soliders to the gate, and I was the last in line going through security. When I got to the guard, she hugged me and told me how much she appreciated my sacrifice, and told me to be strong. That was more than I could take.

The attendants at the gate let Tracy linger after the other passengers had boarded, in order to give us a more private goodbye. It's funny how much the kids are like us: Tracy and Beanie were cracking jokes the whole time, while Pookie and I cried and cried. Finally, it was time for him to go. He started down the jetway and I just felt like the universe was being torn in two...I just needed one more embrace. When I tried to call out to him the first time, I was unable to speak, but I finally managed to croak out "Honey!" and he turned and came back for one last family hug. It was awful, so much harder than saying goodbye last fall. After he boarded, we watched the plane taxi away. The kids and I stayed in the airport for a long time, walking up and down the terminal, having snacks, enjoying being in the place where we were last with our beloved Daddy.

Pookie is 7!!

Pookie was so incredibly happy to have Tracy home for her birthday! We celebrated with Gramma and Grampa at Maudie's with Pook's and her daddy's favorite dessert, tiramisu-cum-birthday cake. Happy Birthday Pook!

Daredevil Bean

We temporarily relocated the swing to accommodate the trampoline...Beanie pulled the slide over, climbed up, and started swinging!

Happy Early Birthday!

When we got home from the beach, the kiddos were super excited to discover that Aunt Kim's birthday present had arrived while we were gone. Yea!! Here's a pic of Pook with their friend Ava, hanging out on the new trampoline!

Beach Pictures III

Pook wanted to bring her jacket every time we went to play in the water.

Tracy snapped a perfect pic of three kids at the beach.

Coming up the trail for the last time.

Beach Pictures II

The weather was overcast nearly the whole time we were at the beach. It worked out well though, because Tracy and I were both sick and the cloudy skies made for good lounging weather. On our last full day, we went in to Port Isabel to show the kids the lighthouse. It turned out that there was a little festival in the square, so after climbing to the top, we stayed around for a little while, relaxing in the shade and listening to a local band while the kids played. Here is a picture of Beanie climbing to the top level inside the lighthouse, and another of Bitty running down the hill. He had a great time doing this!

Beach Pictures I

This group includes pics of Daddy and the kids on the beach, watching zombie movies, the sea slug and Daddy returning it to the ocean, and then one of me with the kids.

PB&B at South Padre Island

One of the highlights of Tracy's trip home was our family mini-vacation to South Padre Island. When we realized that he was actually going to get to come home on leave, we decided that we wanted to do something together as a family that the kids would always remember. They had been asking to go to the beach for several months, so we took advantage of our time together to take them on their very first beach trip. We rented a first floor, beach-front condo in SPI and, in spite of the fact that we we re both sick and the weather was overcast and rainy, we had a great time! We were all were so excited about going that, upon arriving near midnight, we marched right through the condo, down the path and into the water!

The kids were absolutely overjoyed to hear, smell, and taste the ocean. We spent a lot of time sitting on the beach watching them chase and be chased by the waves, and picked up hundreds of shells. One morning we even picked up a sea slug! I showed it to the girls, and immediately cautioned them not to touch it, as I wasn't sure of its stinging ability. Before I finished the sentence, I realized that Beanie already had her hand on it and was replying "It won't hurt me Momma!" She scooped it up into her sandpail and we brought it home to show Daddy and Bitty, who were sleeping in. We did have one sunny afternoon, and took a short trip back to Port Isabel to tour the lighthouse and check out a local festival. Most of all, we enjoyed lounging around the condo, watching movies, and playing together as a family. Here are some pictures from our beach adventure.

At the Treehouse

Tracy surprised me for our 14th anniversary this year with a trip to Cypress Valley, west of Austin, for a zipline canopy tour and a night in the "treehouse" - a beautiful screened-in structure on a platform 40+ feet above the creekbed in the canopy. It was incredible!

A few good friends joined us and we were all shocked when our guides began the safety briefing in Spanish. Being one of the least capable Spanish-speakers and far and away the most nervous participant, I was quite worried. I was able to interpret every third or fifth word, and thankfully Darrel was there to translate the rest. Through the entire briefing, I kept thinking, "this can't be safe!" Finally they admitted to the joke, and had a good laugh at our expense. It was actually quite impressive; their Spanish was flawless as they were native speakers, and they were straight-faced the entire time. I can only imagine how often - and with what flourish - they tell this story!

The tour itself was breathtaking. The course follows a creekbed through the canyon and includes some long, fast segments along with breathtaking scenery. When there is water in the creek, you are able to end with a zip into the small reservoir, but, needless to say, that was not the case on our trip. Once you've completed the course, you can go to the challenge course. This part features 12 or so different crossings, ranging from typical rope bridges to the "flea hop" and the flying leap. I tried a couple of these, but I have a hard time trusting my equipment 40 feet off the ground, so I wasn't as brave as I wanted to be. Most of our group did them all, and we ended with a "superman" style face-first zip to the last station. Admittedly, it was a little tough to exit the platform that way! You just lean out over the edge until your weight shifts and you start to glide. But you can't help expecting to fall, so it's a bit tense for a minute! It was a great end to the course though.

We joined our friends for some snacks and a couple drinks, then returned to the treehouse in time to enjoy the fading light as the sun set. The sounds of all the different animals, along with a trickling waterfall and the wind in the trees, really made us feel as though we had left the world behind. It was an amazing place, and gave us a great opportunity to reconnect and enjoy each other.

Thanks to Darrel, Marco, Amy and Paul for joining us, thanks to Natasha, Patrick, Marco and Amy for babysitting, and thanks to you, honey, for arranging all of this. I can't wait to do it all again!

Ladybugs Field Trip

Today will undeniably be the highlight of Pook's first grade year . As if the surprise of having Daddy home isn't enough, today we both accompanied her class on their field trip to the Texas State Museum. The Museum houses an impressive collection of a variety of objects, all of which are somehow related to Texas, ranging from dinosaur fossils (and a WORKING paleontologist!) to geologic specimens (you can look up your neighborhood and find local samples) to flora and fauna to a gigantic model of HIV. It is housed on the UT campus and, amazingly, admission is free. We had a great time wandering around and then picnicking out front!

Happy Easter!

Having Tracy home early meant we got to spend some extra time together unexpectedly. The kids and I were off for Good Friday, so we lazed about as a family! On Saturday, we went to visit DeLynn, Granna, Aunt Robynn, Cousin Jaci, and Uncle Bubba. DeLynn and Granna knew we were coming, but they didn't know he was home yet. It was a great surprise! The kids enjoyed dyeing Easter eggs and Granna helped out. On Sunday, they were excited to find that the Easter Bunny had visited overnight and left baskets of goodies to help celebrate Spring and the Equinox. Happy Easter!

Tracy entertaining us

Dyeing eggs

Yum...chocolate!

Homecoming I

After dropping Egan off at Miss Julie's this morning, I cried all the way to the airport.

Tracy and I are not just husband and wife. We are partners, lovers, best friends...we are "the whole package" to each other. Living without him has made my day-to-day life incredibly stressful. It isn't that there is so much to do, or that the children behave badly, or anything like that. It's just that, for 14 years I have shared every detail of my life with him. For 14 years he has made me laugh and has been there to hold me when I cry. I have always been "the strong one" in my family, but that is easy to do because he is my rock. To have to live life every day without him - to listen to my complaints about work, to go grocery shopping with, to play with the kids, to snuggle against on the couch, to do everything with - has been a very difficult and solitary burden.

Picking up the kids was incredible! We walked out to the playground at Miss Julie's and Leslee was videoing the whole thing! Egan took one look toward us and came running over, head down, very determined, totally quiet. He jumped into Tracy's arms without saying a word and just hugged him hard. Then he put his little hands on each of Tracy's cheeks, kissed him, and smiled. We were all crying by then!

The girls were at after-school care in the gym. We walked in and Beanie spotted us first. She screamed "Daddy!" and came running toward us at top speed. Pook was a little skeptical, I think. Beanie had already jumped into Tracy's arms by the time she realized what was happening and she was wide-eyed in disbelief. She started walking toward us, then picked up speed and came running. By the time she got to us she was already crying. :)

We celebrated Daddy's return with dinner at Maudie's (of course!), followed by a well-deserved nap. Welcome home sweetheart!

All together again!

Beanie napping with Daddy

He's Coming!

Oh. My. God.

My friend was right! Tracy just called me from the airport in Germany! He is about to board a flight to Dallas and he should land in Austin tomorrow morning about 10:30. AAAAHHHHH!

I can't decide whether to scream or cry! I am totally unprepared for his arrival - house is a wreck (blue tape is still up from when we painted last month!), need a haircut, need groceries...but oh my goodness I absolutely can't wait to see him, to smell him, to touch him, to hear his voice in person...

I can't wait!

Waiting Impatiently

Tracy told me he was scheduled to leave his FOB on Tuesday (yesterday) and he is supposed to be home sometime Monday. I haven't heard from him since Sunday...I am about to go crazy! I just can't help but imagine that something has gone wrong and he wasn't able to get away...he won't get to come home...the not knowing is MADDENING! The worst part is that I haven't told the kids he's coming, just in case, so I can't even share with them why I am so distracted and bothered. My friend at work suggested that maybe Tracy is going to be home early and is trying to surprise me...that would be awesome, but I just can't imagine that happening in the Army world. Just a few more days...

Rockstar!

Today, Pookie went to her first birthday party. The party was at a store called Justice, which caters to ages 5-11 and is full of just the kind of crap I refuse to buy for her: makeup in packages diguised as ipods and cell phones, glitzy stuffed animals, stage-wear for children. Had I realized what the purpose of this party was, I would almost certainly have declined to allow her to attend. But, I naively did not, and so attend she did.

They made the girls over into rockstars. When I came to pick her up at the sandwich shop next door, where they'd gone for cupcakes, she was sitting at the counter (bar?) sipping a diet coke. Really! She has never had a diet anything in her life and has only ever had her own coke once! I was appalled. Check out our little superstar!

Birthday Crafts

Pook and Bean wanted to make purses as birthday presents for some of their friends. They picked out the various components and then I glued them on. We are really happy with the way they turned out!

Airport Blues

Tracy will be home in a matter of days and I can't get my mind to BE STILL. I keep playing scenarios in my head. I have everything planned out: my outfit, the coffee I will buy to pass the time, my conversation with security before I go to the gate...all I need is for him to actually get here.

Yeehaw!

Today was the Kindergarten Rodeo at Patton. Beanie had a blast singing and dancing during the hoedown, and then playing games and being Farmer Bean at the petting zoo. I'm afraid she may have had a little too much fun...she started throwing up about 3 pm. Poor thing, I picked her up to carry her to the car from the nurse's office, and she threw up on me twice before I could even get her out! Needless to say, she had to ride home nakey, and I had to hold my breath. Ewww!

Silver lining: we no longer have to attend two birthday parties tomorrow. Yea!

Here's Beanie with Annika, doing the Hoedown Hokey-Pokey!

These are at the petting zoo. All she talked about was seeing the piggies, but when we got inside, she only wanted to hold the chickens! She chased down and held every chicken in the place. It was actually quite amazing. She was very calm and all the animals loved her! Who knew?

Here is Beanie on her very first pony ride. She really enjoyed the fast trot!